Jesus Made Me Fumble

Just when you think that the denial of personal responsibility is at an all-time high, along comes Stevie Johnson to raise the bar even higher.   Mr. Johnson is the wide receiver for the Buffalo Bills who dropped a game-winning touchdown pass in overtime against the Pittsburgh Steelers this past Sunday--and promptly blamed God for the incompletion.  After the game, he Tweeted the following:

I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!!  AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!!  YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS???  HOW???!!!  I'LL NEVER FORGET THIS!!  EVER!!!  THX THO . . .

I'm guessing that Stevie was not a theology major in college.  It's always dangerous to speak for the Almighty, but I feel relatively safe in saying that the Lord did not really expect Stevie to learn from this.  No, I'm fairly certain that the Lord expected Stevie to catch the ball, especially considering that no Power of Good would ever root for the Steelers.  Although, if God had the Steelers defense on his fantasy team this week, it would explain a few things.  If I were Stevie, I also wouldn't worry about forgetting this (EVER!!!) because Buffalo fans will remind him of it wherever he goes for the REST OF HIS LIFE!!!!!!!

I am not sure what to make of the fact that after tempting God to smite him for gross self-centeredness (and a gluttony of exclamation points) that Stevie concludes with "THX THO."  Up to that point, the Lord could at least admire the hutzpah it took to blame Him for dropping the football.  This is like the guy on Maury who having admitted to sleeping with his girlfriend's best friend and her cousin and her grandmother claims that he "still loves"his girlfriend.  Um, no you don't.  Stevie, you're not thanking God for anything, you're just trying to push the spilled milk back into the bottle.  And again, I'm guessing here, but I'm pretty sure that it's a baby bottle.

Stevie, here's my 3-point plan for saving your reputation if not your soul:

1. Call a press conference and say "I catch that ball 99 times out of 100, but that was the 100th time.  I have no excuse,  I dropped it."
2. Add, "I was childish for blaming God."
3. After the press conference, cancel your Twitter account.

So, what have WE learned from Stevie Johnson's experience?  One, if you want to vent your frustrations in a really immature way, lock yourself in your room and rant away; don't run to the nearest world-wide social network and start typing.  Two, God doesn't care about football.  He's waiting for Spring Training to start the same as the rest of us.

Comments

[Stephanie]

I agree with you on all points except the "no Power of Good would ever root for the Steelers". I think this would indicate that God is a bit of a Steelers fan.

[al Smith]

AMEM! Brother.