Nonce

There is a word missing in the English language, a word that would be right handy if we had it.  Therefore,I hereby coin the word, nonce, adj. meaning, "not occurring" as in "That happened nonce."

Think of it:  How many times have you started a sentence, "Oh, that happened--" and you figured that you would say "once" or "twice," but instead, upon reflection, you realize that the thing never happened.  Instead of having to go back and say, "--oh, that never happened!" you can simply use the word nonce.

You could say, "Oh, that happened no times," but such a construction is somewhat awkward.  I know that other numbers don't have such an adjectival form, but that's not my concern.  Three has thrice, but no one uses that anymore because if you do, everyone will think that you're some kind of Shakespeare nerd.  And there is nothing for "four."  Fource would work, but we already have too many homonyms in the English language.  Think how many of you paused over "for four'" two sentences ago.

I'm not worried about the fours and fives of this world, I'm only worried about none and the adjective that should go with it--nonce.  It's a good word, a simple word, and if my readers out there will simply start using it, we'll have it in the Oxford Dictionary in no time.  After all, if Homer Simpson--a cartoon character for goodness sake--can get "Doh!" into the dictionary, then we can do the same for nonce.  Let's give it a shot!

Comments

[Anna Kipps]

Hehe.. I suppose I am content using the word "never." Technically, it does the job. If I recall correctly though, the Spanish language does have multiple words here though.. so I suppose it wouldn't hurt if English did also.

[Nick]

That would be a great word to describe my Browns this year. "They have already won . . . .nonce and could win that many more this year!"