I enjoy running on the nearby C & O Canal once or twice a week. I'll run a mile out and then walk back and the exercise, scenery, and solitude is invigorating to say the least. The canal has no water in it; or at least, it didn't until the recent rains descended upon the upper Potomac. Now, there is standing water in one of the locks and that has brought about standing mosquitoes, too. Well, they're not standing, at least not the lazy ones. No,they have been flying around biting everything that moves, including Martha--2 dozen times on a recent walk one Sunday morning.
She has refused to walk on the canal any more until mid-winter I think, but I did not want to give up my runs, so I devised a different strategy. I ventured onto the canal determined to make peace. Entering their camp, a few came up and bit me, but when I did not swat them, the entire tribe was taken aback and merely buzzed about in a confused fashion. I made them understand that I wanted to see their leader. Soon, a rather stout mosquito emerged from the woods. We sized each other up, shook hands, and sat down for a parley.
I told him that I would bring an offering of food, if they would let me run through their territory unmolested, and suggested hot dogs and hamburgers. This sent an excited murmur through the mosquitoes who had gathered around and they began licking their lips. It seems that humans are not the only ones who relish such picnic fare. Their leader was pleased as well. He considered this a great offering, said I didn't even need to furnish any condiments or rolls, but to please make the hamburgers juicy the way they liked them. In addition, he asked if I would let the baby mosquitoes cut their teeth on me. He said that bites from the little ones would only itch for a day or so and that with all those young ones behind me I'd run that much faster. Here was true humanitarianism in action. The little mosquitoes would benefit, I would benefit, and we didn't need any federal money to make it happen. Just a little understanding. I agreed happily. We embraced and the tears of gratitude welled up in his big blank eyes and I must say that I became a bit misty myself.
Then as a further gesture of good will, he said that whenever I finished running that he and some of the other tribesmen would carry me back to me car so that I didn't have to walk back; an offer that I happily accepted. You should see the looks on the faces of the bikers and hikers when I go buzzing past them about a foot off the ground on my way back to the parking lot. Sometimes, when the bigger and stronger mosquitoes carry me, I'm lifted 2 or 3 feet off the towpath.
It is amazing what a man and a mosquito can accomplish when they set aside past prejudices and work for one another's mutual benefit. As long as I remember the hot dogs and hamburgers, I only itch for 24 hours or so after a run. Our arrangement has worked out so well, that next week, I'm going to approach the mosquitoes again, this time wearing my bathing suit and some water skis. I think that for a steak or a few pork chops they would be happy to tow me up and down the river. One thing is for certain: There are enough to do the job if they put their minds to it.
...and how is that West Nile Virus thing working out for ya?
Mosquitos have lips?
Posted by: Melissa Dodge | June 17, 2009 at 09:59 AM
They not only have lips, some of the older ones had full-fledged mustaches.
Posted by: Austin | June 17, 2009 at 11:00 AM