Baseball, Life, and Other Stuff

Houston, We Have Problem: Worst Looking Uni's Ever

I loved growing up in the 1970s when outlandish and colorful style was the rage in clothes.  Folks were fine and foxy, but there is a definite line between colorful and garish.  Unfortunately, three major league teams from the era crossed that line and are therefore, subjects for the second part of this blog's look at major league uniforms, namely the worst uniforms to be worn in my lifetime.

The Cleveland Indians wore all red away uniforms with Indians spelled out in crooked letters that appeared to be cut out by someone who failed scissoring in kindergarten.  I don't mind red, but red from head to toe is a bit intense.

The Chicago White Sox wore an interesting combination of black and white with collared tops that recalled uniforms from the 1890s.  The problem was that they wore shorts.  Here's a link to a photo of those uni's if you dare to look!

Still, the worst looking uniforms had to be the Houston Astros "Baskin Robbins" uniforms that displayed a series of broad, orange, red, and yellow stripes that started at the bottom of the jersey and stopped around the armpits, leaving a white shoulder.  It essentially looked like a still photo of the moment immediately after a cherry bomb exploded inside a traffic cone.  Even worse, was that the uniform number was printed on the front of the pants, making it look as if everyone was wearing workout sweats.  They were so ugly . . . well, here, see for yourself:

 

Best Looking Uni's: Hot Shot Houston

The Orioles have finally returned Baltimore to the front of their away jerseys after a 37 year absence.  It has been a big deal in Baltimore and I must say that the Oriole uniform, both home and away is one of the best looking in baseball.  I'm biased, of course, but that bright orange paired with jet black is one sharp color combination.  In fact, if the Orioles uniform featured the cartoon bird on the hat or on the sleeve, and if the road uni's were a charcoal gray, I would say that they had the best looking uniform going.

The new Oriole uniform got me to thinking about the sharpest looking uniform in my lifetime. The Reds uniform of the mid-60s featured vest tops with black trim around the arms, a large C surrounding Reds on the right breast, and a white hat with a red brim.  These uniforms were also pinstriped, at least for a couple of years and while I am no fan of pinstripes, Cincinatti pulled off the look as well as it's ever been done.

The Cardinals uniform is certainly one of the classiest in baseball with those cardinals perched on either end of the bat which is slid through the upper end of the C in Cardinals.  That classy St. combined with the L on the hat is as recognizable as Detroit's olde English D or the Yankees overlapped NY.

Nevertheless, my pick for the best looking uniforms in my lifetime goes to the Houston Colt .45s.  You have to be as old as I am to even remember that before they became the Astros in 1965, Houston's franchise was named the Colt .45s.  These uni's featured an orange .45 in block numbers on a navy blue hat and Colts emblazoned in orange and outlined in black.  Underlining Colts was a Colt peacemaker and the C in Colts was designed to look like smoke curling up from the revolver below.  This might represent the most clever logo in the history of baseball.

Today, entire segments of our population would fall down with apoplectic seizures if anyone even suggested naming a team after a firearm, but then those were simpler times.  You know, simpler as  in a very low murder rate, no mass murders, no drive-by shootings, and no gun control, either.

            

Happy Memorial Day!

Happy Memorial Day, everyone, the day when summer begins.  Sure, the calendar says that summer begins on June 21st or 22nd and ends on September 21st or 22nd, but we all know that it begins on Memorial Day and ends the day school starts.  Memorial Day also begins the yard sale season, that time of year when people everywhere sit in their yards or driveways waiting for someone to stop in and take tables full of unwanted junk off their hands.

Here in Williamsport, yard sales are few and far between, that is if you consider about 300 feet a great distance to travel in order to find the next really great bargain.  Some folks have so much stuff in their front yards that you wonder if there's anything left inside.  Indeed, some houses appear to have been stuffed so full of knick-knacks that they became nauseated and threw up on their lawns.

I don't really get why yard sales are so successful.  Having a yard sale is basically saying, "Hey!  This stuff's so crappy even I don't want it!"  In terms of an advertising strategy, it's not exactly on a par with Geico's cavemen.

The worst thing, of course, is to have a yard sale and sell nothing.  That means that your stuff is so useless/tacky/out-of-style that not even people who go to yard sales want it.  Not even for a nickel.

In any case, while you're out enjoying yard sales, picnics, ballgames, cookouts, or simple relaxation, take a moment to remember what it is that we memorialize on this day.  Thanks to our soldiers, we are free to buy and sell stuff that's fit only for a yard sale.

Uncle Austin's Tips for Aging Gracefully

To be considered wise in Europe, you must have graduated from some German university with a degree in philosophy and a thorough knowledge of Heidegger, Kant, and a bunch of other guys who could never hit a curveball.  Fortunately, to be considered wise in America, you need only to have experienced life and to have garnered from it some kind of title such as "Colonel" or "Uncle," as in "Colonel Davy Crockett" or "Uncle Remus." You should have a working knowledge of Yogi Berra.  I've never been in the military, but I do have nieces and nephews and enjoy the title of "uncle."  Thus, I am wise and hence will dispense a few tips on the subject of aging.  (A subject on which I am gaining more wisdom almost daily.)  The following maxims are directed at folks my age, but kids, pay attention:

• Don't watch those PBS shows with all the bands and singers from your youth.  It will leave you wondering why all those old people are out in the audience.  Then it will dawn on you that these are your peers and it will leave you wondering for the rest of the evening if you look that bad, too.
• This leads to my second tip, which is to eliminate half the mirrors in your house and switch to light bulbs with less wattage.
• Avoid a mid-life crisis, but embrace your second childhood. It's the difference between being an old fool and an old jewel.
• Limit the number of your sentences that begin with, "Well, when I was a kid . . ."  There's a fine line between nostalgic and annoying.  Try not to cross it.
• Retain at least one vice.  An unreformed person is always more interesting to people, particularly those who make it their mission in life to spy the speck in the eyes of others.

There; now you are older, given that it has taken some time to read this, but you are now wiser on the subject of aging.

Is This a Great Game, or What? by Tim Kurkjian

Is This a Great Game or What? (2007) is a wonderful baseball read that will have you in stitches and heighten your respect for the men who play the best game on earth.  Kurkjian, a former Orioles' beat writer and current Baseball Tonight analyst on ESPN, has spent over 25 years covering the game.  Using his vast collection of stories, Kurkjian illustrates how difficult and how dangerous the game can be.  He includes chapters on signs, statistics, and his time at ESPN among others.

I read just about the entire chapters on how competitive players are and what a funny game baseball is out loud to Martha because she kept asking what was so funny.  I was, indeed, laughing out loud.  From Mitch Williams who once missed the batting cage while throwing batting practice to Steve Balboni saying that he'd never forget his first grand slam, only to be reminded that he had hit one the year before, to which he replied, "Oh, yeah.  I forgot," you'll be laughing until you cry.

Kurkjian is passionate about the game and it definitely shows in his intelligent discussion on the state of baseball today and his admiration for the people who understand and properly promote the game.  Cal Ripken's name appears prominently in this regard.

Kurkjian, who graduated from Walter Johnson High School in Bethesda, MD writes clearly and keeps his work moving.  At 276 pages, it is an easy and enjoyable read, one that you will find ends too soon.  Everyone out there who loves baseball, especially the game's very human element, should definitely read this book.

Happy Birthday, Brooks Robinson

Today, May 18, marks the 72nd birthday of my childhood hero--and the childhood hero of most of my peers in Baltimore--Brooks Robinson.  We all loved Brooksie and so did our parents who held him up as an example of a good athlete and a good person.  I remember clearly my mother telling me that Brooks "never said a bad word," meaning that he never cursed.

I first "met" Brooks in 1965 when he was the guest of honor at the opening day ceremonies of the Carroll Manor Recreation Baseball League.  We swarmed him with items to autograph and the parents all laughed when he said, "I think some of these kids are coming back for seconds!"  I was on my way back for thirds but he was finally able to get away.

Any criticism directed towards Brooks was felt personally.  Scholastic Magazine featured an article in a 1968 edition suggesting that the Cubs Ron Santo was the best third baseman in baseball.  I wrote a scathing letter to them that demonstrated the error of their thinking.  I still have their reply and I'm still not convinced.

It was in 1965 that I attended the first "Thanks, Brooks" night at Memorial Stadium when the fans and the Orioles acknowledged him for winning the American League MVP trophy for the year before.  My fiance and I attended the second "Thanks, Brooks" day in August of 1977 when he retired.  Now married, we ventured to Cooperstown to see Brooks inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1983 and then attended the game against the White Sox at which his induction was commemorated.

"Brooks" was the name we picked out for our first son, but he turned out to be a girl both times and so we have Becky and Sarah.

Brooks was the flashiest of fielders, but the most regular of guys and therein lies his greatest accomplishment.  He's still my hero.

Happy birthday, Brooks, and thanks for being such a good example, both on and off the field.

Cosmopolitan Irony

In case you were wondering, the May issue of Cosmopolitan has been dubbed by the editors as "The Sexy Issue."  Splashed across the cover are feature headlines that include "SEX He Craves:  We Help you Discover His most Dirty-licious Fantasies--So You Can Deliver the Naughty Goods," "The Easy Way to Boost Your Sex Drive," and "Get Butt Naked!  50 Fun Things to Do Bare-Assed."

There in the lower left corner, however, is a headline that reads "How to Make Choices You'll Never Regret."  My guess is that not delivering the "naughty goods" and foregoing 49 of the 50 things you can "do bare-assed" would be a good start towards making choices that you'll never regret.

Now, I'm no prude; I'm even for butt-nakedness, and in fact, I think streaking should reappear about every other generation.  After all, a group of naked people in tennis shoes running down the street is about as harmless as it gets.  Two naked people, not running anywhere, however, might make some choices that they will regret.  Sex education, whether from schools, parents, or Cosmo is mere mechanical knowledge if the proper context is not provided.  There's a time and a place for everything, boys and girls, but very few things are appropriate all the time, everywhere.

Here ends my sermon for the day.

In Defense of Ballplayers Gone Bad

As everyone knows by now, Manny Ramirez has been suspended for 50 games for using a performance enhancing substance (PED.)  Once again, a hue and cry is raised about the effect that the use of steroids and other PEDs have had on the game of baseball.  While I do not condone what individual players have done (especially Ramirez whose boorish behavior is frequent), I can certainly sympathize with them and I think we condemn them too harshly.  With everyone from the Commissioner to the owners and yes, to us fans, turning a blind eye to what was happening before us, the temptation to use PEDs must have been (and still is) great indeed.  These are very competitive people who want to maintain their competitive advantage.  And when another 10 home runs a season might mean another $10 million on the next contract, let us make sure none of us would succumb to such temptation before leveling criticism at those players who did.  After all, Manny refused to play in order to get out of Boston, yet L. A. fans wore fake dreadlocks and cheered his name and the Dodgers threw $45 million more at him for two more seasons.  What do you suppose he learned from that?

Furthermore, I find it hard to feel anger towards players who go astray in their personal lives.  Anyone good enough to play in the major leagues has probably been told how great he was since his early teens.  Then we (and yes, I mean we--baseball only acts in ways of which we approve and for which we pay) throw large sums of money at them right out of high school or college.  Even if the player is not a highly touted prospect, the minimum major league salary for 2008 was $390,000.  The average salary for the same year was $2,824,751.  If, say at age 25,  I had received that kind of money, had strangers idolize me, and had to constantly look over my shoulder at the next great kid in AAA who wanted my job, I can't say that I would have a very accurate perspective on the world--or myself--either.

Our ballplayers are a product of our society.  If, they are personally irresponsible, they are no more so than other people their age who have never been asked or taught to assume any responsibility.  If your married neighbor is seen escorting a stripper to her car, it will not make the paper.  If Alex Rodriguez does it, we'll all see it on ESPN.  Is there really any difference in the conduct of your neighbor and that of Rodriquez except in scale?

The media protected Mickey Mantle and Whitey Ford and other players, choosing not to report their wild and wooly escapades.  Reporters protected the hero status of players then because they believed that we fans, especially kids deserved untarnished heroes.  Our current culture seems to believe in nothing.  Perhaps more than any other explanation, that is the best one for why our ballplayers sometimes go bad.

Grandstand Manager's Banquet a Grand Success

The Shenandoah Valley Grandstand Managers Club banquet held at the Johnny Appleseed Restaurant in New Market Friday night was a rousing success.  Good food and good fellowship were accompanied by an excellent succession of speakers.

Bruce Alger, gracious and smooth as usual in his role as Master of Ceremonies presented a 20 year service award to Dave and Arlis Beaver for the time, effort, and all-around handyman expertise given over the years.  The recognition came with "love, admiration, and respect."

Bob Douglass, Commissioner of the Cal Ripken Sr. Collegiate Baseball League, spoke about the Mid-Atlantic Classic All-Star game between his league and the Valley League, which will be held in Waldorf, Maryland on July 15.  Bob traveled all the way from Baltimore to be with Rebel fans, providing them with interesting background about the game.  Admission to what will no doubt prove to be exciting collegiate action is free, but donations are encouraged.  If you can't make it to the game, MASN will broadcast the contest in HD.

Lucas Jones, the Rebels new manager, had an excellent message concerning what he looked for when recruiting players and how he intended to manage them.  Jones told the audience that he recruited players with good skills, a knowledge of the game, and "the most important thing," the proper attitude towards preparing for and playing in the game.  He then related how he had planned for each and every day of the 61 day regular season, only to tear up those plans when he learned of the tragic death of family friend, Jeff Taylor, Sr., who was struck by a line drive while throwing his son batting practice.  Jones stated that this event illustrated the importance of taking nothing for granted and that he and the Rebels would "play in the moment, pitch to pitch.  We will live the present moment . . . and enjoy the time we have."  A wonderful philosophy whether you're between the lines or in the stands.

This year's banquet saw the highest attendance yet.  All money raised by the Grandstand Managers goes to the support of baseball in the New Market area.

Thanks to the Shenandoah Valley Grandstand Managers Club for a wonderful time!

                 

CRSCBL Commissioner Bob Douglass waxes enthusiastic about the Mid-Atlantic Classic All-Star Game (left) while Lucas Jones previews the 2009 Rebels squad (right).

Photos courtesy of Sarah Gisriel and Melissa Dodge, respectively.

Johnny U: The Life & Times of John Unitas

Today, May 7th, would have been the 76th birthday of Johnny Unitas, the greatest quarterback in the history of the game.  Author Tom Callahan has written an excellent biography the Colt immortal entitled, Johnny U:  The Life & Times of John Unitas (2006).  As the title implies, this is not simply a date by date biography of Unitas.  Instead, Callahan presents Unitas in a series of stories (albeit, arranged chronologically) revealing an intricate personality and a Hall of Fame quarterback as a product of, as well as a maker of his time.  As Callahan writes in the Preface, significantly entitled "It Was a Player's Game Then":

[The book] begins and ends with [John Unitas.]  But it is as much about a certain time as a single player.  It is less about a specific place in the country than a place where the whole country used to be.

The stories that Callahan includes about Unitas are rich indeed, from John's ability to communicate with his teammates to his toughness on the field; from his feud with Don Shula to meeting Minnie Pearl on an airplane and learning how to tell (mostly dirty) jokes to lighten up his teammates.  Callahan interviewed an impressive number of people including Unitas' teammates, opponents, and family members.

Johnny U:  The Life & Times of John Unitas is a must-read for any Johnny Unitas or Baltimore Colt fan.  It is a must-read for any student of American culture who wants to learn a little about what our country was like at the dawn of the civil rights movement and the television era.  It is certainly a must-read for any one who admires a person who works hard to succeed, yet does so with grace and a refreshing lack of self-importance.  At 286 pages, you will be sorry to reach the final chapter.

The photo below illustrates so well the character of Johnny U that Callahan brings to life.  It is of the 1958 sudden death victory over the Giants.  Alan Ameche has just plunged across the goal line; in fact, he has not yet risen from the turf.  John Unitas, (lower right) is not high-fiving, doing cartwheels, dancing in the end zone or otherwise engaging in the histrionics of the modern player.  He is simply walking off the field--he did his job.  That was enough.  The older I get, the more I admire the late, great Johny U.  Happy birthday, #19.